WHY PARTNERS ENGAGE IN EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS 2

According to a psychologist, there are five different basic needs of men and women in relationships/marriage:

For men:

1.      Sexual fulfillment for the married, men can’t do without this one.

2.      Recreational companionship

3.      An attractive spouse/partner

4.      Domestic support

5.      Admiration and I include compliment

For women:

1.      Affection

2.      Conversation

3.      Honesty

4.      Financial support

5.      Family commitment and I include adoration.

Although,the entire list may not be applicable to every individual. The needs of men and women are different that’s why it’s difficult adjusting when they are married. It is advisable that each partner sees the other as a part him/her that needs to be taken care of.

When a man marries his heartthrob, he promises to love, care and remain truthful to her all his life. This means that the woman will remain his only sexual partner till “death do us part”. He wants that woman to sit with him in the sitting room and watch his favorites TV game/ shows. He wants the woman to adore him when he pays the bills on time; he wants a beautifully dressed woman whom he can happily show off to his friends. He doesn’t want a liability who will ask him for money to buy salt for the food, nor a woman a woman who is too busy with work and has a schedule for lovemaking.

For the woman, she wants a man who will give her a kiss while she is still in bed, pet her when she is ill, ask her what the matter is when she looks sad. She needs a man who will listen to her while she blabs, a man who will look at her after making her hair and tell her “sweets, you look adorable”. She wants a man who will look her in the eye and tell her “yes “and that’s the truth to build her emotional stability, a man who will not hesitate to pay the children’s school fees or drop them off at school. Not a man who will tell her how bad her breath smells or how much a chatterbox she is, or a man who doesn’t care if she had a bad day.

Understand that for one need to be met, the other has to be met too. Affection is the environment of the marriage, while sex is the special event. When a woman is not given affection, she cannot give the man sex.

Most women will say: “my partner is an animal” or “he has turned into a lusting monster”. He is “pawing and grabbing”, because he is badly in need of something, when he doesn’t get it, he looks out for it. It’s not that he doesn’t love his wife any more or the commitment is too hard to keep, just that he needs a fulfillment, same is applicable to a woman whose needs are not met adequately.

If you don’t make your partner always look forward to having a nice time with you, be ready to lose them to one who will. If you are not ready to place your partner’s needs above yours be calm another person will. In relationships and marriages, none is easy to handle but with open communication, selflessness and above all, with God’s help it’s made easy.