It’s important to
understand that there is a difference between “privacy” and “secrecy”. Every
relationship should be built on trust and to achieve this, there is need to
trust and trust comes by open communication from both partners. Without trust,
there is no respect and without respect, there is no intimacy.
As long as two people
have made up their minds to be committed to each other, love and care for one
another, there should be room for privacy but not secrecy.
Privacy is when a
partner gets a phone call and the other doesn’t jump up to receive the call,
it’s when the guy is alone with the lady’s phone and a text message comes in,
he doesn’t suspect it could be another guy and opens it to read except he is
asked to. Privacy is when the guy plans to organize a surprise birthday party
for his “sweetheart” and doesn’t let her know about it, it is when the lady
knows when she says something it will jeopardize the relationship and she
avoids bringing it up. Privacy is necessary to overcome some challenges alone
but it becomes destructive when they become secrets.
While secrecy is
covering up things with lies or withholding important information that may
destroy the relationship, secrecy is when a woman had an abortion in her
previous relationship and avoids telling the new guy. Secrecy is when a guy has
a disease and keeps the lady in the dark; secrecy has no place in intimacy.
The reason for privacy
is that there are some times that are better left untold. If you notice, when
some ladies pick up their partner’s phone, the first thing she does is to go through
his received and sent messages. It’s not that she doesn’t trust him; she just sees
it as fun.
Then in the cause of
scrolling through the messages, she sees a message from an old female class
mate that says:
“Hello dearie” before
the real message starts, it might not have meant anything to him but she begins
to feel someone somewhere is beginning to like him, she starts feeling insecure
though she may not want to confront him to avoid him asking questions about her
trust for him, this is also applicable to the male folks.
Before you know it, they become interested in
one another’s calls and text messages, although they still “trust” one another.
Gradually the trust they use to have begins to diminish except if they
communicate with one another of their recent fears.
For a relationship to survive, it’s advised
that they become thoroughly candid with each other but avoid destructive
secrets which may destroy the relationship when the truth is finally let lose.
As long as the two have
decided to let each other into one another’s lives, they should share their
pain, joy and struggles together there should be room for transparency.
Secrecy makes a true
love relationship less transparent and this will start giving room for doubt
and less commitment. If there is anyone who needs to know you best, it’s your
partner and the only true way to achieve this, is to make available all the
necessary information yourself.
Some persons will say
allowing your partner access to your calls, text messages and mails while you
two are yet unmarried is not a bad idea because it will help build trust and
others will say it’s not advisable. Neither ways, every human has thoughts
which he/she won’t want another to know about? As long as your want it kept in
your heart, don’t let it become a secret.
kindly share after reading.thanks
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